My cat just sniffed my other cat’s butt and then slapped him
'Cause we are living in a bacterial world, and I am a bacterial girl.
(Not to mention protists, archaea, fungi and mites!)
Thanks for being so efficient at helping me digest things, tiny brethren.
He couldn’t find the geriatrics lecture powerpoint so our instructor said he’d just stand in front of the class for observation
Teammate said “a condo where they put old people at” because he couldn’t remember the term “convalescent home”
I’m one of only three girls in the class, so when we were assigned our stroke victim roles I was also assigned a prostate gland. Trying to keep up a good facial droop is really hard to do without laughing.
Our instructor has a teenage daughter who wants to go snowboarding soon, he was complaining about how one day of lessons and lifts and gear rental would be an exorbitant sum.
Classmate Johnny: You’ll probably take her anyway because you want to spoil her.
Instructor: …Fuck you, Johnny!
Watching The Avenger with my adorably clueless Chinese parents who have no concept of the Marvel universe despite having watched Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America before. Had to tumbl their commentary
Mom: What is a…hulk?
Dad: He turns green.
Mom: Which one is Loki?
Dad: The long-haired bad man.
Mom: Those were the brothers in the other movie?
Mom: Doesn’t [Hawkeye] run out of arrows? He keeps shooting things.
Mom: Guns? [The Black Widow] Shooting a whole army with two guns?
*Bruce Banner returns on a motorcycle*
Mom: Oh, that crazy doctor is back again.
*Extended fight scene, the Avengers mostly get covered in dirt*
Dad: Wow, look at Captain America! He’s so.. clean.
*Second fight scene*
Dad: Oh, he’s dirty now.
*Thor rips Iron Man’s faceplate off and throws it away*
Mom: Oh, he took the lid off.
*Iron Man drives off in a blinged out car. Captain America rides away on his motorcycle*
Mom: Ah, this guy is so poor he has to ride an electric bicycle.
Mom and Dad try to comprehend the concept of Marvel characters each having their own movies and then having a combined movie:
Mom: So it’s like they make a movie about Fenxi [family cat 1] and then Gummy [cat 2] and then Walnut [cat 3?] And then Fenxi and Gummy together, then all three?
Sugar Skull Spoon by HUNDRED MILLION successfully Kickstarted!
So rad, I wish I drank more sugary drinks. Guess that defeats the purpose of their mission statement to let you know sugar is evil. Click through to see more shots.
My sister and I got all dressed up as Lokis to see Thor: The Dark World today![Yes, today. Not opening night. I was on an ambulance.]
We were needless to say, the only ones in costume. It was tons of fun doing our photoshoot with the cats, despite Fenxi’s reluctance to take on the responsibility of ruling Asgard.
Cindy made the Chinese-inspired costume and tesseract scepter all by herself of course (http://cationdesigns.blogspot.com/ ) while I settled for throwing together the casual Loki look with black leather, green, and gold. It was a grand time with my faves sister!
I’m home alive and in one piece after a 3pm- 3am ambulance ride along with the SFFD. Nasal intubations! Hoarders! Drunkards! Psychiatric! Wheelchair races! 18 YO MI/seizure art student??! It was glorious.
"Son," the father says, examining the broken petri dishes littered about the floor, “I’m not a mad scientist, I’m just a disappointed scientist.”
I don’t even care what you think this is the best post I’ve ever made